I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
