so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
