We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
