weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
