Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
