the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
