Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize