I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
only if we run a train.
done.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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