I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
