bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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