Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
