I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
