oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
