i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
