I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
