i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
