Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize