Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
