don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
