I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
