Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
