forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
