sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
