You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
