Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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