Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the condom got lost in my hair
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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