the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
