im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
