Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
