She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
