there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How's work?
Spinning.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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