i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
