So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
