Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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