Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Randomize
