How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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