I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
