Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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