This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
