Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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