Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
