WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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