I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
