lets start a swedish sibling band together
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
