we're chasing vodka with high fives
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
