if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
