is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
