Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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