I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
