Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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