You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
