it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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