About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
