So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it hurts more in the daytime
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
