some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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