I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
