Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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