Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
