Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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