so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
