so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
